COFFEE TALK: THINGS TO REMEMBER WHEN EVERYTHING GOES WRONG

Good Morning and happy Monday. I was reading one of those Facebook shared pictures and someone had shared that “everyone has problems but some people just aren’t sharing it all on Facebook”. I found it funny coz we blogger types do just the opposite, or at least this blogger does. Have you ever gone through something and wondered if someone out there in the world has gone through the same thing ? And then wondered how anyone could survive that or how if it’s even possible for someone to survive ? 

With death, we have all lost people we love, there are so many articles on how to deal with grief and how to handle it all but they are some things that no-one really talks about. It’s the stuff movies are made of, the drama, the hurt, the pain. You can almost look back and you’ll think you’re watching one of Rihanna’s/ Beyoncés music videos. 

That’s the stuff I am talking about today. The kind of pain, hurt I want to talk about today. 

First things first I want you to know that happiness is not the absence of problems, but the ability to deal with them. Imagine all the marvellous things your mind might embrace if it weren’t wrapped so tightly around your struggles. Always look at what you have, instead of what you have lost. Because it’s not what the world takes away from you that counts; it’s what you do with what you have left. Here are a few reminders to help motivate you when you need it most:

Imagine how different it would all be if you chose instead to look at what you have, instead of what you have lost. Imagine all the different decisions you would have made had you just embraced the good in your life.  Because it’s not what the world takes away from you that counts; it’s what you do with what you have left. 

My mummy, bless her soul shared some tips with me on how to be happy and to how to enjoy life even when things are going to Sh*t. 

♥ Pain is part of growing.

Sometimes things happen that make you believe the world is playing a practical joke on you. Shi*t happens and you would swear you were staring at the devil because if that’s not the case then how could any of it be possible, right? But sometimes that’s a good thing because we often won’t move unless circumstances force us to. It’s good because the darkest hour is just before dawn, it’s a good thing because the worst that could have happened would have happened. When times are tough, remind yourself that no pain comes without a purpose. (You will discover what the purpose is, one day you will wake up and it will all make sense. It could because the gods were trying to shake things up, prepare you for something else, you will find out that purpose). 

♥ Everything in life is temporary.

Even life itself is, we aren’t going to be on this earth forever. After the darkness there is always light, you are reminded of this every morning, but still you often forget, and instead choose to believe that the night will last forever. It won’t. Seasons change the weather changes, storms come and pass. Nothing lasts forever. If things are bad, don’t worry because it won’t last forever either. It won’t. 

♥ Worrying and complaining changes nothing. 

I once asked my mum just before an interview what my weaknesses were and she said I was impatient, I hate waiting around with my life hanging somewhere in the air. I hate uncertainty because I know they are only two ways things could end. It can either be good or bad but most of the time I think it’s going to be bad. My mind just goes there.  So I am going to stop worrying, why because I’ve recently discovered that worrying changes nothing. Worrying just leads to you not enjoying what’s good because you are too busy focused on how it could all go to hell. So you know what FCUK IT. 

♥ Your scars are symbols of your strength. 

Don’t ever be ashamed of the scars life has left you with. A scar means the hurt is over and the wound is closed. It means you conquered the pain, learned a lesson, grew stronger, and moved forward. 

♥ Every little struggle is a step forward. 

In life, patience is not about waiting. I think that’s where we all get it twisted. We think patience is about waiting around twiddling our thumbs waiting.  Patience is the ability to keep a good attitude while working hard on your dream, working on what you want, working on the changes you want to see, knowing that the work is worth it. So if you’re going to try, put in the time and go all the way. Otherwise, there’s no point in starting.

♥ What’s meant to be will eventually, BE.

I’ve learnt the hard way that you can’t force things to happen. You can only drive yourself crazy trying. At some point, you have to let go and let what’s meant to be, BE. Like I said above I am impatient and I like to be in control of everything which makes letting go and letting things “BE” very difficult for me but I am trying. In the end, loving your life is about trusting your intuition, taking chances, losing and finding happiness, cherishing the memories, and learning through experience. It’s a long-term journey. And it’s a really difficult one in that, but enjoy the journey none the less. 

♥ The best thing you can do is to keep going. 

Don’t be afraid to get back up. Don’t be afraid to love again. Don’t let the cracks in your heart turn to hardened scar tissue. Find the strength to laugh every day. Find the courage to feel different, yet beautiful. Find it in your heart to make others smile too. Find it in your heart to forgive and give second chances. The world is a cold place there is no reason we should make it any colder. Let go and let love. 

♥ Love, 

~M