Chapter 25, jeez this blog post has been a long time coming. I am going to try to be civil as I speak to you all (try not to swear). Today is such a fitting day for this blog post. I’ve always been one of those people who prefer to write how I feel because when I speak somehow my true feelings get lost in the blubbering.
2016 kicked my ass, I’m not even playing. 2016 nudged and nudged and nudged and nudged some more. Sometimes the pain, disappointment, and fear were so numbing but I pulled through, right? In case you are wondering, I turned 25, 13 days ago today. It’s been one heck of a ride, I can’t believe I’ve been on this earth for 25 whole years. My mom is old now, lol. I decided to call this blog post chapter 25 because I truly believe I am in the 25th chapter of my life. The past year was a roller coaster. The break in, two cash fraud thefts on two separate accounts (totaling R10 000), feeling alone, relationship problems and so much more. As I am typing this, I am watching the blind side (it has to me the millionth time, I love this movie). I love it because you know what, poop happens but one day you’ll wake up and the stink will be gone.
Port Elizabeth (the chapter 24) brought me pain and challenges but it also allowed me to grow. It was difficult, it seemed as if the sun rose and the sun set and the shadows of the pain remained. I threw myself into the deep end when I moved here and its safe to say, I now know how to swim. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a top-notch backstroke or butterfly swimmer yet, I still have a lot to learn but I am happy with the progress.
I am so excited for chapter 25, I am so hopeful and I feel so alive. The bad goes away when the sun sets and with the sunrise comes hope. I know I probably sound way too optimistic but there is no such thing. Come on guys my blog turned two yesterday. Had you asked me a year ago if I could imagine being here, the answer would have been NOPE!
People make new years resolutions all the time and for a minute I felt I had to but I could never really make put what it is I wanted to change. Instead of coming with a list of things that I wanted to achieve, I jumped on the word train. It’s achievable and easier to stick to. If you’re wondering what I am talking about, I choose a word every year and I stick to it. My chapter 24 word was grace. I wanted to teach myself to be gracious, to choose grace every time. Even if and as it turns out grace is a tough, bitter pill to swallow. When people disrespect you, bully you and hurt you; choosing not to respond or choosing to take the high road is painful. It teaches you to be humble, not to think that the world owes you anything. It teaches you to do your part without expecting anything in return.
Grace taught me a lot about myself. We fight every day about some things that don’t even matter. When I focused on grace I saw the great changes that were taking shape in my life. I met angels, sweet amazing human beings that are all so different but manage to make me smile every day. Most of them bloggers of course (wink wink).
One of my chapter 25 words is Gratitude. I stress a lot and sometimes about things I can’t change and that’s when stress turns into frustration, then anger, then tears and finally ulcers. This year I want to change that, I want to be the “look at the silver lining”girl. To find the beauty in every situation. I want to laugh as much as I can even when life is crappy as hell. I look back and a lot of amazing, unbelievable things happened for me in 2016. We live and learn, and I choose gratitude
So, I’ve been trying to figure out what makes 25 such a big deal. You know, besides the fact that you’ll now be a quarter of century old and the fact that family now things you should get married and start popping out small humans. LOL, so not ready for little humans running around so people will have to just wait. Chapter 25 is going to be my year of transformation. I want to transform my wardrobe from its basic varsitiness to full-time, professional blogger ( and NO, it’s not going to be just pyjamas).
I would go deeper but we all know this blog post is already too long. I want to set a foundation for the person I want my grandchildren to know. To find out what I value and want. I’ve discovered as you grow older, what you want changes and I am starting my transformation journey. From caterpillar to bright rainbow butterfly(or maybe, twinkly fairy).
I am blessed to have this little corner on the world-wide web and I am grateful for all my readers. I love this pace of ours and it has been ,y place of solace and joy. Thank you all for the support and friendship .
Here is to a year of GRATITUDE & TRANSFORMATION